Someone recently pointed me to Rotten Tomatoes’ Worst 100 Films of all time. While I’ve seen more of those films than I care to mention and most of them were terrible, I think that I’ve seen many that have been worse. Yes, Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever was terrible but no where near the worst film ever made. I thought I’d take a moment to describe a couple films worse than that.
Note: I do not condone the watching of these films unless it’s done in a mocking fashion. Also, I will omit any films that I saw ripped apart by Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Manos: The Hands Of Fate and The Night Train To Mundo Fine are easily the worst films I’ve seen, but they have already been saluted as horrible by the aforementioned MST3K.
Seamless : Seems like the worst is a great place to start and this definitely qualifies. Of all the films on this list, it’s the only one that I didn’t make it all the way through. The only thing worse than the plot was the acting. Something about drugs, placebos, raves and a used clothing store, I think. Anyways, this was so bad, I couldn’t even laugh at it.
The Hustle : You can chalk this one up to false advertising. The cover of the film prominantly features to DJ’s known as Doctor Dre (not to be confused with Dr. Dre) and Ed Lover. I decided to rent this after their stellar performance in Who’s The Man? , which was actually pretty funny. Back to The Hustle, anyways, these two are barely in it. They make a brief cameo and, while funny, could not make up for the rest of the film, which could’ve been made by some high school students.
Black Friday : This really is the most interesting film of the bunch. The film was directed by a guy who had previously just done music videos and it was kind of shot like one. This led to a couple of interestingly shot scenes but that couldn’t make up for horrible diaglogue, acting, pacing, casting, editing and pretty much everything else. What sets this film apart is that you keep watching because you expect it to get better. Sadly, it never does.
Code Hunter : Signs that this film will be bad: 1) Coolio, 2) the guy from the Highlander TV show, 3) Vanessa Marcil in her pre-Las Vegas phase, 4) SNL alumnus Nora Dunn. This film was actually pretty watchable when compared to its predecessors on this list. I know that doesn’t say much but you can put up with the horrible acting and script because the premise was at least somewhat entertaining.
