VALENTINE’S DAY
Valentine’s Day aka Hump Day is defined in the Interfaith Calendar as a:
Christian celebration of the love of God presented in Jesus and in the lives of Christian believers. St Valentine was a 3rd century martyr. This day is widely observed in the USA as a secular celebration of love.
But it is so much more than that. I stand before you today to make this a vacation day all across Canada. It ought to be an official religious holiday. Let me show you why…
Once upon a time mankind’s population was a mere fraction of what it is now. The number of human beings on the earth back then numbered in the hundreds of thousands instead of the billions. Before our society became the rich, vibrant mosaic of cultures we see today, humankind was a lowly group of pathetic, dirty, barbarians. We rarely lived past thirty and we suffered under the cruelty of equally barbaric gods.
Religions and superstitions brought certainty to these peasants. Everything important to survival that could not be controlled directly was given a personification – a godlike quality that could be prayed to or worshiped. The sun, the moon, the rain and the harvest and of course, fertility. Fertile crops, fertile cattle, fertile wives – these things were important. Fertility could not be left up to chance. Sacrifices had to be made – sometimes even your first born or virgin daughter. In Genesis 22:
After these things God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here I am.” He said, “Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains that I shall show you.” v1-2.
Now, God sent an angel to prevent Abraham from following through. However, because Abraham was willing, God promised him:
LORD: Because you have done this, and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will indeed bless you, and I will make your offspring as numerous as the stars of heaven and as the sand that is on the seashore.
Human sacrifice was required for the fertility of Abraham’s seed. This is when Valentine’s Day truly began. This is why Hump Day must be an official religious holiday.
In fact, phallic symbols can be found even in places of worship today. In opposition to Yahweh, it was was forbidden to worship the god Baal.
King Jehu said to the guards and to the officers, ‘Go in and slay them; let none escape’. And they smote them with the sword; and the guards before the king threw their bodies out, and went into the inner dwelling of the house of Baal. They brought out the obelisks [pillars] of the house of Baal and burned them.” 2 Kings 10:26
These obelisks were four sided pillars with a pyramid at the top. They appear on every church steeple in every town. They are also a symbol for a very large penis. If religion began as rite of fertility, why did we deviate from this path? Might the masses be missing out on a taste of the divine? Should we not bring back the temple prostitutes?
Genesis 38 shines some light on what used to happen back in the early periods of civilization.
Judah sent the goat by his friend the Adullamite to recover the pledge from the woman; but he could not find her. So he asked the men of the place, “Where is the temple prostitute, the one by the roadside in Enaim?” But they answered, “There has never been a temple prostitute here.” v20-21
But what do we gather from this passage? Not only was the god-fearing man Judah open to having sex with temple prostitutes in exchange for wealth (the goat), it was seen later in the chapter as a wise thing for this woman to do.
Somewhere in history we’ve lost this rich breath of life in religious ceremonies. Dan Brown, a most learned and well-spoken author focused on this in his latest book The Da Vinci Code. A sect of Christianity was constantly in fear of being destroyed by the Catholic church for worshiping the female persona of God. The deviant sect also used sex as part of their religious rituals, and in viewing the Catholic church (specifically Opus Dei) as wrong in the end, we can only conclude from the novel that we too ought to be having sex in the foyers and worship rooms each and every Sunday.
Now since there may be a small amount of push-back or resistance to this idea, I feel we ought to instead institute St. Valentine’s Day as an official religious holiday, to make our own personal sacrifices for the fertility of mankind in the privacy of our own home.
Call your MP today.
